Better Than I Know Myself
by Maria Simone
I’m one of those people who has always struggled with my weight. I’ve been on many diets, and succeeded many times, but still the weight comes back. Recently, God has been showing me that diets are not the answer, that I must understand why I sometimes eat when I’m not hungry. I racked my brain for about 2 weeks trying to figure out the answer to this question, and I got so frustrated that I said to the Lord, “I give up, please just heal me of whatever it is inside me that makes me do this, I certainly do not know!” The Lord then revealed to me that the source of my problem is lies that were spoken over me as a child, lies I was accepting as truth. He then reminded me of the Psalm 139:1, “Oh Lord you have searched me and you know me” I realized at that moment that I don’t even fully know myself, but that God knows me through and through, and He loves me anyway.
God is faithful to reveal the truth of what is in our hearts when we allow him to do so. He alone knows the deep things that we are not even consciously aware of. While these things may be painful or even shocking to us, they are no surprise to Him. And the truth is, these things must be exposed before God can heal us of them. Verse 23-24 of Psalm 139 goes on to say, “Search me oh God and know my heart; Test me and know my anxious thoughts; See if there is any evil way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” When we take the time to sit with our loving Father, He gently uncovers our wounds, then bandages them for us. Isaiah 61:1 talks of how Jesus came to “bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and freedom to the prisoners.” According to Strong’s Concordance, the Hebrew word for “bind up” is khaw-bash’, which means to “bandage or govern”. I love the term “govern”, because it says to me that God takes control or “governs” our wounds, so that our wounds will no longer govern us. The key to letting Jesus bind up our wounds is to be still in His presence, so that the Great Physician can apply His healing balm. It might hurt at first to face the things that are in our heart, but Jesus promises that the Truth will set us free!
Let Us Be Encouragers
by Genel Webb
“Let us be encouragers one to another,” as my grandmother used to say. Each day as we encounter people that we know and people that we don’t know, we can all be encouragers. It costs us nothing, yet it so increases the other person that receives the encouragement and the person that gives it. It doesn’t matter how successful a person is or isn’t, the effects of being encouraged are the same. It makes the receiver of the encouragement feel stronger and just better. As Believers in the Lord, Jesus Christ, encouragement is a wonderful seed to sow. What person that is struggling to make ends meet, doesn’t want to hear — you can make it…keep plowing? What former addict doesn’t want to hear — keep going, keep looking forward? What great chef doesn’t want to hear that the meal was delicious, or what anointed musician doesn’t want to hear that someone was moved by their music or what great athlete doesn’t want to hear that their playing was extraordinary? And whose spirit doesn’t it bring a smile to…to feel that because of your sincere encouraging words, someone is strengthened?
My point is that all involved parties benefit from encouragement, the encourager and the person being encouraged. I’m sure that this is not a revelation to anyone reading this because we can all bear witness to the effects of encouragement. All of us have been on both sides. It’s so simple and easy. “Let us continue to be encouragers, one to another.”
Staying the Course – The Pre-teen Years
by Bev Mueffelmann
Over the last few months, we have explored how our beliefs as parents form the basis of our actions toward our children. We have also explored how to tame negativity both in our toddlers and in ourselves as we have sought to set positive expectations as the basis of our parenting relationships. As we have discovered that the principles for parenting in early childhood years are an extension of the toddler and preschool years, so the principles for the pre-teen years are a continuation of the same with bigger price tags of consequence and responsibility.
Increasing responsibility in the area of chores around the house continues to be a great training tool for older children. Tasks such as dusting, cleaning bathrooms, helping with the laundry, lawn-mowing, and doing the dinner dishes are opportunities for our children to contribute to the family’s general well-being. The completion of these tasks is basic to a well-functioning household and should be viewed as a child’s responsibility as part of the family. These tasks need not be compensated with an “allowance”. The concept of an allowance can be introduced, but as a benefit of sharing in the family’s financial blessings from the Lord just as we share in the responsibility to keep the household functioning well. As the child matures, other opportunities for earning money around the house can be created through special projects or needs that arise that require special effort.
As children mature, they also need to be given more freedom and opportunity to think through and make more of their own choices under parental guidance. To train wise decision-making, we can ask “What do you think you should do in this situation?” As our children grow into older teenagers, the question becomes “What will you do in this situation?” These types of questions provide the opportunity to hear the child’s reasoning process and to gently direct it toward a wise decision if one is not presented by the child. Too often we underestimate our children’s ability to reason and make a good decision if given enough time and space to reflect. This approach also communicates that we value our child’s thoughts and respect his ability to make good choices.
Additionally, while chores and choices change with growth in age, so should our forms of correction. While a young child will experience time-outs or corporal punishment, an older child will benefit much more from experiencing the natural or logical consequences of their behavior — another skill that will be essential to good decision making later on. Natural consequences are the expected results of choices like burning your hand if you touch a hot object or getting a traffic ticket if you speed. Logical consequences are those that must be created in relation to the misbehavior or offense, but have some basis in the action. For example, when our daughters were preteens and were having trouble getting themselves off to bed one night, my husband told them that he would be setting their alarm clocks to go off in the morning fifteen minutes earlier than normal since they didn’t seem to need their sleep. Their mouths hung open and they replied, “Wow, that was a good one, Dad!” and proceeded to bed.
Another important habit to establish in the preteen years is family time. Life provides enough opportunities for our families to be separated and disjointed. As parents, we need to establish regular times for our families to share together — Friday night game and movie nights, ice cream nights, etc. Spending “be” time together, as well as chore or project time, solidifies relationships and will increase our children’s desire to be together as a family instead of choosing negative peer relationships later in their teen years. These times together also help build positive sibling relationships. Next time we’ll explore how to encourage good sibling relationships and to maintain a peaceful household.
Reflections
by Nora Neal-Daggett
Four years ago, I was praying earnestly for my husband’s recovery from double pneumonia. I can still hear that deep, racking cough and the gasping breaths that followed the coughing seize. I could only stand still and pray for the spell to pass and offer comfort measures.
I would have gladly taken his place; been the one who was sick. Ah, but that was not God’s plan or purpose. Instead, He took me through darkness, blacker than the darkest night and stripped away a love I thought I could not live without!
Then He lovingly, tenderly guided me over the road of grief into a peace—a peace that passes all understanding. I remember that day vividly! Allow me to share it with you.
I finally decided to return to work, still in quiet mourning. Since God had called my husband to heaven the commute home was difficult. You see we had driven home together for five years. It was our de-stress time. We shared our day, giving one other advice, agreed to disagree, laughing away the miles and through the long lines of cars we made our way West on I-66. Now, I faced the long ride home alone…with my tears.
Therefore, today would be no different from the previous week. Or so I thought. I got into the car, pulled out into the traffic on Reservoir Road and began to prepare myself for the intermittent tears and the sadness I routinely felt as I drove home…
It didn’t come. Instead I felt a calm peace. Like stepping into a nice warm shower on a cold morning. H-m-m-m-m, serenity…undisturbed; I felt more like more old self again, yet different.
I wasn’t crying nor was I dreading the drive. I wasn’t wishing Rue was here, holding my hand. I took a deep cleansing breath and expressing an audible sigh as I exhaled—finally! Lord, thank you for this moment…this peace…Aha…this must be it!!! The peace that passes all understanding! I’m living it this very moment!
Prayer of Acceptance…
Father, God, this is my life now. I drive home alone. I am a new widow. But, nevertheless, I have you. I am yours and you are mine. I realize that tears will still be a part of my journey…my healing. But right now, God, I thank you for the peace that passes understanding.
Scripture:
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with
thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God: and the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6
NKJV
“You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You. Because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3. NKJV
He will give you peace. (emphasis mine)
Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you… Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14: 27. NIV
The Price of Holiness
by Linda Lail
God calls us to holy living for a purpose. You may have experienced the lure of the self-life as it draws you back into old ways of thinking and being.
In A.W. Tozer’s book THE PURSUIT OF GOD—THE HUMAN THIRST FOR THE DIVINE, he talks about the self-life and describes it as “the hyphenated sins of the human spirit”. He clearly defines these sins as self-righteousness, self-pity, self-confidence, self-sufficiency, self-admiration, self-love and numerous others. He goes on to say “these sins are not something we DO, they are something we ARE, and therein lies both their subtlety and their power”.
God requires us to die to self so that Christ may live within us. If you grew up in a church, you heard these words many times. It does not cost me anything to speak the words. It does cost me something to live out the words. Our Father has a purpose for us and it is to glorify His son on this earth as we prepare to glorify Him in heaven.
Over the past several months I have written on holiness because I believe that it is desperately needed in our culture today. Only God’s people can be holy. We cannot expect the world to live in holiness because there is no holiness within it. As women proclaiming the NAME above every name as our own, it is time we allowed the pure white light of the Holy Spirit to shine on our self-life to reveal what needs to be placed on the cross in order to die to self so that the glorious, Holy One can truly live His life through us.
Pay It Forward
by Tina Bruno
Isn’t that an interesting phrase? God, the whole concept of Christianity, is “pay it forward“. We must sow in order to reap. We must not be reactive, we must be proactive. We must show good when we see only evil.
How can we do this? How can we shine a positive light into this dark world? Give when no one is giving. Smile when no one is smiling. Help when no one is helping. We can make a difference, one person at a time. Don’t believe me? Next time you are walking down the street, or are in a crowd, smile. Say “Hi!” to passers-by. Watch their reaction. Their surprised response is worth it!
Tell your family, friends, and coworkers they are appreciated; in no time, you will see they will be seeking you out. Do you know why? Because you are a bright spot in their world. You are proactive, not reacting to negativity. You are sowing seeds of goodness and comfort that will keep people seeking you out. We must “pay forward” God.
Community
by Susan Lucas
I recently got back from a beach vacation to a small island off the coast of North Carolina. I usually just get to go for a few days at a time but this time I managed to stay two weeks. What I have found in this small community is a group of people who regularly fellowship with each other. We were welcomed into homes, offered meals, rides when our golf cart broke down and friendship. Having established the majority of my close friends before moving to Raleigh I was overwhelmed with hospitality these past 2 weeks. These people wanted nothing in return. They just wanted to spend time with me and my family. What an incredible blessing it was!
For me, my love language is time. Just ask my husband who gave me a very expensive watch and I asked him “Why on earth would he spend so much money?” Trust me that wasn’t a wise response on my end. I just value people more than things and I have to admit I get tired of relationships that seem to only want something from me and that don’t value me as a person. Consumerism in America affects our friendships too and it makes me terribly sad.
Somehow I feel we are so blessed in America that we have neglected what really matters…the gift of yourself unconditionally. As Christians we should be leading the way. The people who led the way for me during my vacation weren’t even regular church attenders.
Offering up our lives to others is just what Jesus would want us to do and I don’t believe all or even most of it needs to happen within the church walls. In a country of prosperity we remain lonely as individuals. As a reflection of Christ I find that reprehensible. Most of us just seem too busy to care.
I want to become “missional” in my community. Whether that means attending a neighborhood party, answering an e-mail, writing a thank you note or attending a baseball game played in by a friend’s son. I want to show that I authentically care. Talk to me is cheap. I want action. I want people to wonder what makes me different and then I want to share the answer—Jesus! I want to “shine like a star in a dark world.”
“If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if His love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care—then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don’t push your way to the front; Don’t sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don’t get obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.” Phillipians 2:1-3, The Message.
The Three-Minute Rule
by Genel Webb
A few weeks ago, I sat behind a young lady at church. As we said hello at the beginning of the service, she seemed familiar. As the service progressed, her body language even seemed familiar. It seemed familiar because I saw myself in her. Have you ever been in a place or a body of Believers where you just hadn’t quite connected yet and you began to think….I guess I’m just here for the word? Well my heart went out to her because I’d been there before. So I put a plan in place to initiate a conversation with her immediately after the service. Guess what? She left just before everyone was released to go. This was also familiar. I’d done this before too. Many times, I left a service early so that I wouldn’t feel so left out or maybe lonely. It seemed everyone else was always having a friendly fellowship as they left, except me. My thought would always be… church shouldn’t be such a lonely place.
As the young lady left, I thought… well, Lord I guess it wasn’t your plan for me to talk with her today. Wrong. I saw her getting into the car as I was leaving the building. I walked over and asked if she were new here. She said, “not really, but no one has really talked to me, except the pastor.” My reply was, isn’t that something… and people here are really friendly. She agreed, yes everyone is really friendly but no one has really introduced themselves to me. I have so, been where she was…many times. One day, however, the Lord somehow put before me a book called “Breaking the Fear of Intimidation” by John Bevere. The problem wasn’t the other folk…it was me, but that’s not the point of this, although if you grew up like me…as a child and on into adulthood painfully shy, this is truly a book that God can use to deliver you, if you read with an open heart and spirit. But back to my real point, as much as we want people to reach out to us, we have to reach out to them. And I think that when we see someone who is obviously wanting to fellowship or connect, but may not have a boldness or the courage (yet) to do it (and I think as spirit filled Believers, we can discern this), we should so reach out to them. Sometimes, we’re just meant to walk with them until they connect to the person or people that they are meant to connect with and that may not be you or I.
I recently read something that I think can help all of us…even the most shy or timid person can eventually work up to this. It was called the three minute rule. Some of you may have heard of it, but I hadn’t until recently. So I’m eager to share it. Intentionally, take three minutes of your time before and after church and talk to someone that you don’t know and make them feel welcome. This forces us to be active instead of passive in the friendship process. Some church services include this in some form within the service. However, this is a bit different in that we have to initiate this ourselves. It’s a challenge for all of us.
Raising Children
by Tina Bruno
Raising children? Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt!! How did I survive? It wasn’t easy, but I had some help. God gave me a wonderful vision while my sons were still very young,
and the power of this vision has never left me.
We are like constructions workers, as parents. We are building a future with our children, and it is our responsibility, through prayer and discipline, to raise men and women of God. We must lay a good foundation. Think about laying concrete, perhaps a sidewalk. When the cement is first poured, it is very impressionable. It takes time for it to harden and solidify, and it must be protected during the curing time. If it is walked on before it is completely set, it will retain marks that we don’t want it to have. Our children are like wet cement. They are very impressionable, and we must protect them. It is not the up to the schools or “a village” to raise our children, unless we want them to look like the world.
I want my children to bear the image of Christ, and our time to protect the wet cement of their hearts is short. Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Be blessed as you build and protect.
Turning to God
by Susan Lucas
Lately, I have been thinking a lot. Well, okay I usually think a lot. I tend to examine things and try to get to the root of problems and situations. I guess I’ve been analyzing things more now that it is an election year. It is really disheartening to me to again seem to have no candidate who clearly reflects my views. Seems like there are extremes all around and I am left wondering, does this reflect America as a whole or do people really feel un-represented like I do?
That brings me to another point. There appears to be so much dishonesty that’s accepted nowadays from un-believable sniper attacks to attending a church for years and not hearing what the pastor is really saying. Worst of all, this has become accepted behavior. As if, we could somehow be mistaken about such things. Come on, who are we fooling? Also, recently gay marriage was approved in California and Governor Schwarzenegger, who previously opposed this action, has vowed to not fight it. In historian Will Durant’s book on the decline of Rome he writes” A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has first destroyed itself from within. The essential cause of Rome’s decline lay in her people and her morals.”
While Rome rose to greatness, it assumed it would remain great. When Rome’s citizens lived in prosperity, Rome was crumbling inside. Will we let moral decay destroy our country? From the headlines to the televisions in our homes, where are we headed? The answer to these problems ultimately is not a political one but a spiritual one.
To that end, I am brought to self reflection. What are we as Christians hiding? What do we try to hide by Christian slang and church activities? What are we scared to reveal? What are we trying to cover up? Before, we point at everyone else, let’s make sure our own hearts are pure. When God sees the moral breakdown of a nation, He points to His people: “If my people who are called by my name.…”
So what should we as God’s people be doing?
The first response should be to humble ourselves. To come out from under the cloaks of self righteousness and fancy talk and turn to God. We have to admit we are all sinners. To portray ourselves as righteous and without fault only serves to cause further division .
The second response is prayer. If Christians will pray and seek God, we can heal this nation. Have we just gotten too busy as a nation to seek him? Not just on Sunday, but in carpool, at our children’s ballgames, in our homes and at our work.
Third, we need to repent. To make a change, a radical turn in our lives. We need to look at our own lives in comparison to God’s commands and change anything that is not in line with God’s word. God has told us what we need to do. Let’s get honest with God and ourselves. I’m ready, will you join me?
2 Chronicles 7:14 “Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land”(NLT).
What Are You Doing Here?
by Linda Lail
Have you ever heard God asking you the question “What are you doing here?” You know the story of Elijah and how he ran in fear from Jezebel after God gave him a glorious victory over the gods of Baal (1Kings chapters 18,19). God provided water and food to give him strength for the 40 days and nights in the wilderness as he made his way to Horeb, the mountain of God. When he got to the mountain he went into a cave to sleep, but his rest was disturbed when he heard the voice of the Lord say “What are you doing here Elijah?”
Elijah was anointed to serve the God of Israel at a time when it was a divided kingdom. It was divided in ways as much spiritual as physical. It was a time when God’s people had become disobedient, worshippers of other gods, and ungodly in their behaviors. God was asking a question that He always asks of His people when they are in the wrong place. Remember Adam and Eve when God came walking in the evening and called out “Where are you?” It is a life transforming question because when God asks us that question it means He knows where we are, and we are in the wrong place.
God sent a strong wind, then an earthquake, then a fire to show Elijah His omnipotent power, but He did not speak to him in those ways. Rather He spoke to him in a still small voice. Elijah heard the voice of the Lord asking again, “What are you doing here Elijah?”
Where are we as the bride of the Lamb today? Are we in places in our hearts, minds, spirits and behaviors that cause God to ask us “What are you doing here?” Remember the kind of culture Elijah was anointed to serve as God’s prophet? Does our culture today look the same? God cannot use us if we look, sound, and behave the same as the culture in which we live. God demanded more of Elijah. He told him to get up, stop feeling sorry for himself and get on with the work He had called him to do. God requires no less of us than He did Elijah. May our prayer be that God would never have to ask His bride “What are you doing here?
OK, I Surrender!
by Maria Simone
About a year and a half ago, I went up to the altar for prayer at my church. I had been feeling overwhelmed by all the things going on in my life at the time, and was about at the end of my rope. A precious woman of God began praying for me. All of a sudden she stopped praying and said “I’m sorry, but God is screaming something at me and I just have to tell you”. She then spoke two words to me that I will never forget - “CEASE STRIVING”. You see, I can be a little thick-headed at times, and I have been known to ignore some very obvious signs from the Lord, so this time He decided to “make it plain”. He had been trying to tell me for quite some time that the reason I was feeling so overwhelmed and fearful, and had even begun having frequent headaches, was because I was trying to do everything on my own.
Webster defines the word strive as “to exert oneself vigorously; to try hard; to make strenuous efforts toward any goal”. Makes you tired just reading it, doesn’t it? Jesus said in Matthew 10:30, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it”. I had been trying so hard to control everything in my life, that I was definitely losing it. I needed a lesson in surrender. Having spent most of my life in striving-mode, I didn’t know any other way to live. So God began teaching me what surrender means.
First, He showed me that I won’t surrender to someone I don’t know well enough to trust completely. At the time, my Bible study and prayer was inconsistent at best. So the first step was getting to know better the One who knows me through and through and loves me more than I can imagine. 2 Peter 1:2 (NLT) says “May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord”. The more I spend time with Jesus, the more I will know Him, and the more I know Him, the more I will trust Him, for He is absolutely worthy of my trust. And finally, the more I trust Him, the more peace I will have.
So what does surrender look like? Christian psychologist Dr. Linda Mintle has a few thoughts for us. Surrender says God is Master of the universe. Surrender says God’s perspective is higher than mine. Surrender says my circumstances are part of God’s eternal perspective. Surrender says I must allow God’s plan to open up before me. Surrender says I am not alone and never will be. Surrender says I accept life knowing that all things will work together for my good. Surrender means trading my plans for God’s plans. It means remembering, as Isaiah 26:12 says, that “all that I have accomplished, [He] has done for me”. It means realizing that I can truly do NOTHING of Kingdom value on my own, but if I remain in Jesus, I will bear much fruit, as He says in John 15:5. Jesus says “abide in the Vine”, and He will take care of the fruit. Now THAT sounds like the perfect prescription for surrender….