The Three-Minute Rule
June 3, 2008
by Genel Webb
A few weeks ago, I sat behind a young lady at church. As we said hello at the beginning of the service, she seemed familiar. As the service progressed, her body language even seemed familiar. It seemed familiar because I saw myself in her. Have you ever been in a place or a body of Believers where you just hadn’t quite connected yet and you began to think….I guess I’m just here for the word? Well my heart went out to her because I’d been there before. So I put a plan in place to initiate a conversation with her immediately after the service. Guess what? She left just before everyone was released to go. This was also familiar. I’d done this before too. Many times, I left a service early so that I wouldn’t feel so left out or maybe lonely. It seemed everyone else was always having a friendly fellowship as they left, except me. My thought would always be… church shouldn’t be such a lonely place.
As the young lady left, I thought… well, Lord I guess it wasn’t your plan for me to talk with her today. Wrong. I saw her getting into the car as I was leaving the building. I walked over and asked if she were new here. She said, “not really, but no one has really talked to me, except the pastor.” My reply was, isn’t that something… and people here are really friendly. She agreed, yes everyone is really friendly but no one has really introduced themselves to me. I have so, been where she was…many times. One day, however, the Lord somehow put before me a book called “Breaking the Fear of Intimidation” by John Bevere. The problem wasn’t the other folk…it was me, but that’s not the point of this, although if you grew up like me…as a child and on into adulthood painfully shy, this is truly a book that God can use to deliver you, if you read with an open heart and spirit. But back to my real point, as much as we want people to reach out to us, we have to reach out to them. And I think that when we see someone who is obviously wanting to fellowship or connect, but may not have a boldness or the courage (yet) to do it (and I think as spirit filled Believers, we can discern this), we should so reach out to them. Sometimes, we’re just meant to walk with them until they connect to the person or people that they are meant to connect with and that may not be you or I.
I recently read something that I think can help all of us…even the most shy or timid person can eventually work up to this. It was called the three minute rule. Some of you may have heard of it, but I hadn’t until recently. So I’m eager to share it. Intentionally, take three minutes of your time before and after church and talk to someone that you don’t know and make them feel welcome. This forces us to be active instead of passive in the friendship process. Some church services include this in some form within the service. However, this is a bit different in that we have to initiate this ourselves. It’s a challenge for all of us.
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