Authenticity: Being True to YOU

Authentic: (ə-then-tik) noun – 3. Not false or imitation; 5. True to one’s own personality, spirit, or character

For the past several days I have been reflecting on authenticity – who I am vs. who people think I am. It’s an interesting question! I received a magazine, from a friend of mine, this week that included an interview with Darla Rakes, the Lead Pastor’s wife at Winston-Salem First Assembly. In this interview she talked about being authentic, parts of which struck a chord within me. One question asked was:

“Why do you think so many people, even church people, are afraid to be authentic and real?”
She answered, “They are afraid that if people know who they really are, then they won’t be accepted and won’t be loved. So, as Christians, they think they have to be perfect, instead of real and struggling.”

I can identify with this feeling greatly. Growing up in a pastor’s home, I learned early on the difference between the face I put on around people vs. how I truly felt inside. I learned that “appearance” was more important to people than reality (how many times did I hear “abstain from all APPEARANCE of evil”?) As I’ve gotten older I have struggled with how I feel and being honest with others about those feelings. It has been difficult to cultivate true relationships with people, based on my authentic self, out of fear of being “found out.” It is still a daily struggle to allow others access to the REAL me without the worry of whether or not I will be accepted or judged by them. Maybe a lot of that anxiety comes from the inner struggles that I face or from feeling NOT good enough. I’m not sure. What I do know is that there are days that I feel like the worst wife, mother and friend that walks the earth and other, probably fewer, days that I feel on top of the world. But, do I share those negative thoughts and feelings with those around me? Probably not on most days!

As Christians, I feel we have a responsibility to those around us, even to each other, to show who we really are. I think it is up to us to show the world that as Christ-followers, we are not perfect…only forgiven. And it’s only by God’s grace and mercy that we will stand before Him as righteous. How can we help each other on this journey we call life, if we don’t even know who the other truly is. How can we be uplifting and encouraging to others if we don’t know there is a need there?