The God of Corners
March 16, 2009
by Christa Hogan
Last year, feeling the need to find focus in my life as an at-home mom, I sat down and wrote up a list of beliefs, truths based on scripture that I could refer back to when life threw me for a loop. Then I decided to choose a life verse, something I hadn’t done in a while. Proverbs 3:4-6 came to mind. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” I had no way of knowing how much that trust would be tested in coming days.
I didn’t print the list and scripture out or laminate it as I intended. As so often happens, life—chasing after a toddler when nearly three months pregnant and working from home—got in the way of my best intentions. Then a week later, just as we were hopefully rounding the corner into our second trimester, we learned that we had miscarried again without warning. It was our fourth pregnancy in three years, and our third loss.
We returned home in shock and began the process of sharing our loss with our friends and family. When speaking to my Dad over the phone, he said, “You know Honey, my life scripture is Proverbs 3:4-6. Trust in the Lord…” Huh, I thought, how about that?
The next day, our pastor called to check in on us and offer comfort. “God put you on my heart today,” he said, “and I started praying for you guys. God loves you and wants to remind you of Proverbs 3:4-6. Trust in the Lord….” I started to cry.
To a cynic, it might seem like coincidence that the well-known Proverb would be repeated to us so often during a time of loss. But to me and my husband, it was just what we needed—hope. It was as if God was saying, “I haven’t forgotten you. There’s a lot of mess in the world, but I see your mess too. Hang in there. I’ve got a plan.”
We were very blessed in a difficult time. Our friends, family and church rallied around us with meals, prayers and cards filled with gentle condolences and specific offers to help. We took time for ourselves. We rested. We started the process of grieving all over again.
We are now greatly blessed to be six months pregnant with our second baby, our fifth pregnancy. All signs are positive. The baby is growing stronger each day. We live in faith that we’ll be welcoming our son into the world in a few short months. I now keep that scripture card, laminated, with me in my purse. I pull it out and re-read it to remind myself to trust not in the doctors or my own narrow understanding of a situation but to trust in a God who sees around every corner and meets us there.
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