But God offers the ultimate fear-antidote, even though at first glance it seems like more of the same. Ecclesiastes concludes with this scripture:

“Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter:
FEAR God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.”

Doesn’t set your mind at ease? How could fear itself be a remedy for fear? I love the explanation that author and pastor of the Mosaic church in California, Erwin McManus, gave in a conference I attended last year. To paraphrase, fear determines the boundaries of our lives. If we’re afraid of flying, we only visit places within driving distance. If we have a fear of public places, we stay at home. If we fear death, then we take fewer risks.

Fear also works in reverse. You can tell what a person fears by looking at how they spend their resources, not just money but time and energy too. Do you spend all your time checking the markets? Maybe you fear financial failure. Do you workout tirelessly at the expense of other aspects of your life? Maybe you fear getting fat or aging. If we allow, fear can determine not just what we do but how we do it.

But what does it look like to fear God? When we fear God, then He alone determines the boundaries of our lives. Fearing God means understanding that His ways are not ours, that He is in control despite what news anchors say, understanding that He can work beyond the physical framework set into place for us as human beings. Instead of being reactively driven by circumstances we’re driven by a need to please a God who loves us enough to die for us, a God that scriptures tell us has a good and perfect plan for our lives.

This became a lifelong habit, and as you might expect, led to a weight problem for me. Over the last 20 years, I have gained and lost the same 30 pounds. Back in the Fall of 2008, I remember feeling so hopeless about my weight and had lost all hope of ever losing it and keeping it off for life. There, at the bottom of the valley, is where the Lord met me, restored my hope, and revealed truth to me that would forever change my life. He showed me that I would never keep the extra weight off until I addressed the CAUSE of my over eating. For almost 30 years, I had developed a reflex habit of turning to food whenever I started to feel uncomfortable emotions rising up in me – frustration, loneliness, anger, worthlessness, sadness, hopelessness…and the list goes on. The bottom line is, I didn’t like feeling those negative emotions, and I just wanted to “stuff” them down with food so I wouldn’t have to deal with them.

God shows emotion throughout the Bible, and we are made in His image (Genesis 1:26), and therefore we are also emotional beings. Now the truth is, emotions in themselves are neither good nor bad, and they are given to us by God for a purpose. I once heard someone say that emotions are our warning light to “check under the hood”, as in a car. For years now I’ve been trying to ignore my warning light, hoping it would just go away. Well, we all know that just because we ignore something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. There are hurts and lies underneath those emotions, and the ONLY way to be free of them is to let them come to the surface (instead of trying to stuff them down with food), and let the Lord reveal what is behind them. Once the wound is exposed, then the Lord can heal it. And once it is healed, it will no longer try to “bob” to the surface like a buoy that keeps coming up no matter how many times you try to push it down under the water.

I read a book over twenty years ago titled “Inside Out”. What I remember most about the book was that I was not ready to turn inside out. I was one year on the other side of a difficult divorce and I already felt wrung out! But, something was urging me to read it. So, I would cuddle up with the book every night, at the end of the day. Taking positive God centered thoughts to bed was my guarantee of a good night sleep!

Somewhere midway in the book I came across this quote, “When does change occur? Change occurs when the fear of the change is equal to the fear”. These words were so profound that they propelled me to get out of bed and write them down. As I copied the words I thought this is so true! In every single aspect of my life, regardless of the issue or circumstance, I did not change my behavior until my discomfort with the situation was acute and painful enough that it forced me to make a change.

Over the years I have reflected on this quote and I have shared it with others and it never fails that when I share it, the person listening will respond, “Say that again, please”. I share it with you now because the phase popped into my head as I was crying on my way home at the end of the day. I had met with a patient and his daughter who were two of the most bitter, unpleasant people I’ve run across in a very long time! They were nasty and had nothing good to say about any aspect of the father’s care. Lord Help! I could hardly wait to leave his room. I have always been able to “pour oil on churning waters” (as the old folks say) but not this time! Work had been difficult for six months. I felt stressed most days no matter how hard I prayed and turned the situation over to God.

It was during the release of tears that God dropped the phrase into my spirit again. Change occurs when the fear of the change is equal to the pain! Tired of the traffic, tired of mean people, sick and tired of being tired! (Pain, pain, pain) THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

I spent the next few hours thinking I would start looking for a new job. That’s when the Holy Spirit said, “You don’t need to look for a new job. You need to open your own business”! The more I thought about it the better it sounded and I shared the idea with my family and closest Christian friends.

Now, Consulting for Change, the name of my new business, is more than a dream; it’s about to become a reality! Isn’t that just like God to move us into the next phase or stage of our lives through adversity?