My Story

Here begins my story. At the age of 5, I was molested. My brother and dad both died in the same year. At 14, I was sexually abused. At 16, raped and sexually abused again at 20. I was told it was all my fault. I went through a lot growing up. I think I could write a book. In the 9^th grade I drank Jack Daniels a lot (a fifth a dog). I got so sick from it. Half way through 9^th grade I was sent away for a couple of days. When I was sexually abused at 20, I was living at home. I was kicked out by my mother and was living in my car for a couple of weeks. I met a guy in 2000 and we got married after a month together. He showed interest and said all the right things to me. In 2001, I had my son. He was so sick and I had him early. He stayed in ICU for 3 weeks. Two days after I took him home, my husband beat me so bad. He gave me a black eye, bruised ribs, busted mouth and so on. My husband drank all the time and was on drugs. In 2002, I had my daughter. I almost died having her. While I was pregnant with her, my husband tried to kill her inside of me. He beat me all the time. I had so many black eyes from him, bruised ribs, and everything else. Two years after that I went to jail for 48 hours. My husband and I both did. He pressed charges on me for hitting him because he was choking me so bad and 2 weeks earlier I had surgery done on my neck. Well after going to jail, we lost our home and my kids and I went from place to place. After about six months, he found us another place to live. I always took him back even though he beat me and cheated on me. My husband always cheated on me because he said I was too fat and ugly. In 2005, we got divorced. I stayed single for awhile. Then I met another guy and things were good for awhile until he hit me, then ran me over with his car, and pulled a gun on me. I couldn’t go through that again or let my kids go through it and I called it off. All of my life, I have been told I was nothing, no good, stupid, ugly, and fat. I was never showed love. I have been betrayed so many times. I never had friends because I have been afraid of getting hurt. I stay to myself and am very shy.

In 2008, I gave my life to God and got into a church. I love my church. They have helped me so much although I don’t know everyone there because I am too shy. But in the past year, God has helped me to deal with my past and to overcome it.

I know all the stuff I went through was not my fault. I know God has a plan for me and He loves me for who I am. You go through stuff to make you strong and to help someone else. I thank God for what I have in my life, my kids, a home and for my church and the people in it. It doesn’t matter what you are going through because someone else could be going through the same thing or worse.