Overcome the status/stigma of being a teenage mom and wife
June 19, 2009
by Jessica Raber
I am an overcomer in many ways. One of the things I have overcome in my life is the status/stigma of being a teenage mom and wife. I married when I was 17, pretty young by today’s standards, I know. I have heard all the comments (most from my family), “You will amount to nothing if you marry him”, “Why would you want to waste your life by getting married now?”, and one of my favorites, “Probably wont even graduate from high school, let alone even think about going to college, what a shame”. It wasn’t easy being a teenage mom and wife. I lost most of my friends (who can blame those parents…who wants to let their teen hang out with the pregnant girl, let alone one who is married!), was disowned by my own father, and my mom had a nervous breakdown. My new husband was really my only support system. Did I regret any of it? Nope, never did and never will. It was God’s will for me to marry my husband, maybe not that young, but I know it was meant to be from one specific event when I was 16.
When I was 16, I remember sitting on my bed listening to the radio (like most teens) thinking about nothing in particular. Out of nowhere, I heard a voice/thought say to me, “You need to get in touch with him and begin a relationship”. I also remember arguing with that voice/thought. “What? Are you kidding me? I haven’t thought about him in over a year. I didn’t really like him then, why would I like him now?” Still, the voice/thought was adamant with me, “You need to be with him or else you will miss out on one of the greatest things in your life”. Seriously, that exact phrase. Again, being a typical teen who rarely went to church, “Where is this coming from? I am only 16, I do not need to start any relationship with anyone!” Again the voice/thought repeated that same phrase. I remember thinking, “I think God is talking to me.” Here I am, sitting on my bed, first in awe that I am communicating with God and also thinking that this is my first time I remember talking with God and He is telling me what?!? I also remember thinking, what is it going to hurt to look Joe up and see what he is doing. If it is something God wants me to do, the least I can do is look him up, but I am not expecting anything to come from this.
It is now 17 years later, I have been married half my life and I am only 34. We went, and are still going, through some major trials together, but we have made it. It took almost a year before my dad would get over his anger and disappointment of me. It was almost four years before he would stop saying, “if this ‘thing’ ever ends, you have a place to come home to”. My mom recovered and accepted my husband. I did graduate from high school (19th out of 140-something, thank you), and I went to college and am now a RN. We also have three beautiful children. My family is surprised our marriage is still going strong, and high school friends that I have gotten back in touch with are amazed that I am still married.
I give all the credit to God. Most teen marriages do not last, but when God has a plan and you follow through with it, only good things can happen. My marriage has overcome many obstacles, I am an overcomer!
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